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The year is 2150, the month is February. The winter is getting colder, and the Arkers are nowhere near prepared for the harsh winter, especially not now that their supply runs to Mount Weather have become completely nonexistent. Despite the lack of Arker presence in the mountain, the tensions have not died down, and with the return of one of Mount Weather's missing residents, revenge on the Sky People will be top priority. In Arkadia, following the damage Clarke and the others caused in Azgeda, Chancellor Griffin and the Guard must begin taking action to prepare for a war with the Ice Nation that is well on its way. Little do they know, the war has already begun with the arrival of a certain Azgedan spy, and what lies ahead is far worse than anything they have faced yet.
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 our little secret, clarke
Seraphina Walker
 Posted: May 12 2017, 04:44 AM
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t was dinner time. Which meant that almost everyone was out of the halls. It was the perfect time to do a little bit of friendly artwork. Brighten up the place. This wasn't the first time that Sera had been out doing this, and it wasn't going to be the last. She made her way to a more or less remote corridor and set to work. Using pastels to draw on an empty, plain, grey wall. She usually tagged with the same style of art in each place that she drew. It generally consisted of a silhouette of a little girl, with some kind of background. Trees, flowers, stars, the moon, anything and everything that she could think of, went into her art.

She tried not to do the graffiti too often, lessening her chances of getting caught. She knew what would happen if she did get caught but she wasn't all that worried about it. This was her outlet. A way to release some of her stress and anxiety. Art was her voice, in a place where having your own voice was seen as a bad thing. At least with her art she was able to say the things she couldn't say aloud. There were worse things than being thrown in the Sky Box. More than likely, even if she did get arrested, she would go free on her eighteenth birthday. Vandalism wasn't exactly a terrible crime. She wasn't hurting anyone. She wasn't drawing anything inappropriate. She wasn't plastering up messages of hate or rebellion. She was simply expressing herself and adding some color to their otherwise drab and mostly dreary home.

Being cooped up on this space station was horrible. Sera had always dreamed of going somewhere else, anywhere. Even if that wasn't plausible or even possible. Finishing the drawing, she shove the pastels back in her bag and stepped back to look at it for a moment. A little girl was floating underneath a sea of water. Reaching for the surface, but unable to actually make it all the way there. Trying to grasp her way to freedom, claw to the surface, but it was always just out of reach. Eventually she would succumb to her reality. Eventually she would sink away into nothingness. It was how Sera felt sometimes. Like she would eventually just slip away and become nothing. That she would eventually lose herself.

Her parents wanted her to fit into this perfect little box and she just couldn't. It didn't matter if she wanted to be that perfect daughter or not, she never would be. They wanted her to be an engineer, she refused. Art was her passion, but it wasn't a useful trade or skill. She had started working with Jackson in medical about six months ago and was enjoying it. So maybe there was hope for her after all. Maybe she would find her path in life and make her parents proud. Maybe, but probably not.

OOC: I figure Sera is around fifteen and a half or so in this.


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Clarke Griffin
 Posted: May 15 2017, 09:57 AM
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It seemed her days lately consisted of living in three places; the classroom, the medical bay, and occasionally, her own bedroom. When she wasn’t sleeping, she was in class, and when she wasn’t in class, she was shadowing her mother in medical as part of her own training. Like tonight, for example. Things had been busy; so busy that Clarke had remained there an extra two hours just to help out with all of the sick patients. Her mother said that some sort of cold was going around, but she looked more worried about it than a simple cold, no matter how she tried to hide it… Abby had even stayed later to keep an eye on the patients, sending Clarke back home to tell her father she’d be missing dinner tonight. Again.

A familiar redhead caught her eye as she walked down the Arks’ hall. She had known Seraphina from class; she was the only other student Clarke knew who liked art as much as her. But they had gotten to know each other more after the other girl started working with Jackson in medical. Not like they had much time to hang out when they were there, but they did see each other often. “Hey Sera,” she greeted, finally approaching the other girl.

It didn’t take long for Clarke to notice the mural up on the wall. Immediately her eyes were drawn to the color; gaze flowing with the swirling paths the pastels made. “That’s beautiful…” she said softly, half in distraction as her eyes were still interpreting the artwork. It was both beautiful and sorrowful and she could feel a sympathetic tightening in her chest just looking at it. It took a moment for Clarke to break herself from her trance to actually stop and think for a moment. “Sera, you shouldn’t do that out in the open though, what if you get caught?” her voice was low and blue eyes quickly scanned the halls for any sign of guards, yet it remained empty. Still, they shouldn’t hang around the graffitti’d wall. As beautiful as it was, not everyone on the Ark appreciated art the way they did. They would only see it as a distracting abomination of Ark property. “We should get out of here before somebody comes by…” The last thing Clarke wanted was to end up in lockup because of a crime she didn’t commit.

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Seraphina Walker
 Posted: May 15 2017, 11:27 PM
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A
t the sound of approaching footsteps, Sera took a step back from the wall. But relaxed when she heard a familiar voice. Clarke. The girl was older than her by a little bit, but she had gotten to know her a little bit from their time in medical. Before that they had chatted about art a time or two, but nothing too in depth. They both had a love for the medium which wasn't something that Sera found too often. Her amber eyes turned towards the blonde and she smiled "Hey Clarke, working late again?" she questioned. Knowing that this was usually the route that Clarke took after leaving medical. Sera had only worked a short shift today, needing to leave to get other school work done. Which she had actually done before coming out here. She didn't need her parents even more on her back for failing her classes. Her grades had already slipped a bit as it was.

Sera eyed the drawing again at Clarke's words. She supposed to was beautiful in its own way. She was too critical of her own art to ever really appreciate it in its entirety. But she could appreciate some pieces over others. She was always working to fix on thing or another. Luckily art was all about interpretation. So it didn't have to be technically perfect to be a work of art. That was the beauty of it all really. There was no right or wrong. Someone couldn't look at your artwork and tell you that you had done it wrong. That was what Sera loved about it. It was something in her life that no matter what, it was hers and no one could take that individuality away from her. No one could tell her that she was doing it wrong. "Thanks" she smiled, but then her smile turned a bit coy "But who's to say that I did it?" she questioned.

Of course she knew that Clarke knew it had been her. Plus the pastel staining on her fingers would be all the proof that was needed. But technically no one had caught her actually doing it. If anything she was just a passerby admiring the art that someone else had left. With a small laugh, Sera nodded "Yeah, I suppose we should" she replied "Where were you headed?' she inquired. Not wanting to force her company on the blonde, but if they were both free why not hang out for a little while? It could be said that Sera was much to relaxed about this whole thing. Not afraid of the consequences. While Clarke was a bit more uptight and nervous, at least that was the vibe that Sera had gotten. Sometimes you just had to loosen up a bit and have some fun. Life was way too damn boring if you didn't.

OOC: Sorry it is short! >.<


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Clarke Griffin
 Posted: May 17 2017, 10:16 PM
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"Yea, it's been busy lately," she answered, more distracted by the art than to properly answer Sera's question. Normally they wouldn't keep the interns so late, but they needed the help and Clarke had been helping out in medical much longer than a normal intern would thanks to her mother, so she'd volunteered to stay. But her mind was no longer on the chaos that was medical as her gaze ran over the pieces of Sera's drawing. She only wished that the entirety of the Ark could be covered in art, maybe everyone wouldn't look so glum all of the time then.

She finally tore her blue eyes away from the wall when Sera asked her a ridiculous question. Clarke shot the girl a silent 'I’m not an idiot' look; "because I know your style by now." There were only so many people on the Ark that could draw, so naturally Clarke wanted to interact with people who shared her interest, see their work. "Plus you've got chalk dust on you," she said with a small, amused smirk, pointing at the redhead's shirt. "Look I won't say anything..." she said in a hushed voice, stepping closer to Sera, "but you know what will happen if someone sees this..." Once more, out of paranoia for her friend, Clarke glanced down the halls to make sure nobody was coming.

It was almost frustrating how casual Sera was acting; like she didn't care if she got caught and thrown in lockup over a silly mural. There were things worth dying for; painting on walls was not one of them. And frankly, Clarke didn't want to see the young girl get in trouble over such an innocent act. "Home," she answered quickly, but before she could say anything else, there was chatter down the hall. Someone was coming and any minute now they would round the corner. It could be anyone, but there was no guaranteeing it wasn't a guard. "Come on," she said in a quick whisper, grabbing Seraphina by the wrist and pulling her after her.

Clarke didn't let go until they rounded two corners; there was a small door labeled 'maintenance' and she quickly opened it, pulling Sera inside with her. The room was dark so Clarke pressed the button that ignited the overhead fluorescent lights, bathing them both in a dull blue glow. "What were you thinking?" she asked in a hushed tone, still catching her breath from the run. "Is that really worth getting locked up for Sera?" Or worse, floated.

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Seraphina Walker
 Posted: May 18 2017, 01:16 AM
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S
era nodded at Clarke's words. She knew that the clinic had been pretty busy lately. Plenty of sick people coming and going. Some sort of bug, or so they had all been told. Bu,t Sera had to wonder if that was true. It wasn't her place to question it though. She had only been an intern for around six months. It wasn't like she was the most skilled. For all she knew it was just some bug that was going around. Clarke was a lot more experienced than her so it made sense that she had stayed late to help out. There came a point when Sera become more of a nuisance than a help, that was when she usually went home for the day. Although she was learning and picking up on things quickly, experience came with time and that was something she needed more of. She just needed to put in more hours.

The red head couldn't help the small cough of a laugh that came from her at Clarke's expression. Of course Clarke knew it had been her. "That obvious huh?" she asked with a small shrug. She knew it probably was driving Clarke insane that she just didn't think it was that big of a deal. In hindsight it really wasn't. But to the guards and the Council of the Ark, it would be punishable to an unreasonable degree. Sky Box until the age of eighteen for sure, and then possibly floated after a retrial depending on how serious they felt her crimes had been and whether she could be a productive member of society. Sera glanced down at her shirt and noticed that she indeed did have blue smears on it. She dusted at it absentmindedly. Brushing some of it off, but not all of it.

She didn't think that Clarke would have said anything anyway, but she nodded at Clarke's words again. "Thanks" she replied. It was nice to at least know for sure that Clarke wasn't going to go and rat her out. Her parents were part of the Council after all. Sera had always liked Clarke. They had a lot in common and she looked up to the blonde in many ways. Voices were suddenly able to be heard and she felt Clarke's hand close on her wrist, pulling her in the opposite direction. Sera moved into a jog behind the blonde girl. Trusting her to lead them to wherever it was that she was going. Where they did go was not what she expected though. A maintenance closet. Really?

There was a split second of pitch black and then the dull light flickered on. The closet really wasn't that big, but at least they weren't pressed up against each other or anything. They could move a little bit. Clarke's tone and face took on an extreme seriousness. Sera tried to keep the smile off of her lips and the laughter from her tone. "Calm down Clarke. Geez. You're going to give yourself an aneurysm" she replied with a soft roll of her eyes. She took a step to the side and leaned back against the wall there. Was it worth getting locked up for? Honestly Sera didn't really care all that much. If she got locked up then that was that. She would deal with it then. "I dunno" she replied with a shrug "I guess I'm just not that worried about it. They haven't caught me yet" she smirked softly.

She thought about making a crude joke. About how this had all just been a ploy to get her alone in a closet. But she thought better of it and held her tongue. Sera had a tendency to be extremely sarcastic and covered anything she was really feeling with jokes and a facade of not caring. She did care, deep down. But she was also so desperate for a release from her life. To express who she really was, that she didn't really consider the consequences of doing that in the only way she had figured out how. She listened intently to see if the voices were following them, but she didn't hear anything at the moment.


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Clarke Griffin
 Posted: May 19 2017, 11:52 AM
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Clarke pressed her lips together tightly to fight back the annoyance of how casual Sera was being about all of this. It wasn’t like Clarke made the rules; she didn’t exactly agree with them either, and she certainly didn’t agree with the harsh punishments tied to them. But it wasn’t up to the blonde; it was up to the Council, and her parents. She’d seen the weight pressing down on their shoulders when they had to float someone who was hardly deserving of that punishment, or worse; when they had to float a newly-adulted teen. Even if Sera had hardly broken the law, Clarke didn’t want to see her get locked up for something like that.

“Yet doesn’t mean they won’t,” she replied with an exacerbated sigh. “You only increase your chances of being caught if you keep doing it…” Of course, now she just sounded like her mother. Countless times, Clarke had been teased for her ‘bossy’ nature, but it was just because she cared… It wasn’t like she never broke the rules herself… Just that she didn’t want to see her friends endanger themselves for nothing. “Look,” she began with a sigh, “I know how I sound, but I just don’t want to see you get caught.” Hopefully Sera would understand.

Pausing to listen for the footsteps as well, Clarke heard nothing. Cautiously, she walked over to the door, placing a tentative hand on its handle, when the voices rang out behind the muffled door. She couldn’t quite make out the words exactly, just sounds of irritation and the familiar beep of walkie-talkie’s. Clarke stepped away and turned. “I think someone called the Guard.” There was a good chance, but still a chance, that they wouldn’t care enough to go on a manhunt for the culprit; they’d probably just wash it off. “We should stay here for now, just until they clear the hall.” If someone caught two girls coming out of a closet, one covered in colorful chalk, it would look fairly suspicious.

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Seraphina Walker
 Posted: May 22 2017, 12:49 AM
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T
he look of irritation was evident on Clarke's face. It wasn't that Sera was purposefully trying to annoy the other girl, she just wasn't as concerned with what was going on. She rubbed at the colors that coated her hands absentmindedly, glancing back up at Clarke once she started speaking again. Voice low so that Sera could hear her but so that people possibly passing by wouldn't. The girl pursed her own lips for a moment before responding "I know, I know. Trust me. I know the rules of the Ark just like everyone else" she sighed. She didn't need to be reminded that what she was doing was illegal. That it could get her into some serious trouble.

It did make Sera feel a little bad that Clarke was only trying to look out for her because she didn't want to see her get locked up. Sera wasn't necessarily doing what she was doing to be a rebel, but it probably did come across that way a bit. She was blatantly ignoring rules that she knew existed. But the rules were stupid. They made no sense, at least some of them. "I'll consider stopping, in the meantime I will be more careful" she replied levelly. Was she going to actually stop? Probably not, but she wasn't lying. She would consider it. Maybe part of her just hoped she would be caught. Maybe part of her wanted to be caught. Of course that wasn't something she would ever admit out loud, or even to herself. But that didn't mean it wasn't partially true at least.

She watched as Clarke went to the door and listened out herself. Her hand rested on the handle but suddenly she stepped back. Someone had called the guards. What kill joys. Why couldn't people just appreciate her art and not try and arrest her or kill her because of it? "Might as well get comfortable then" she replied, sliding down so she was in a sitting position. If they were going to be here for a little while then she might as well get comfortable. She leaned her head back against the cool metal of the wall. Her eyes still watching Clarke from the corner of them. "You sure this isn't just some ploy to get me in a closet with you?" she asked suddenly. Her voice playful, her lips smiling, as she laughed softly. It was a joke, an attempt to lighten the mood. If Clarke didn't want to talk they didn't have to. She didn't even need to stay here now. Sera could handle herself. But she did appreciate that Clarke cared enough to try and look out for her.


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Clarke Griffin
 Posted: May 24 2017, 10:09 AM
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Clarke let a small smile reach her lips when Sera said she’d consider stopping. She didn’t feel entirely convinced that meant that she was stopping, considering the phrase in the meantime, which clearly meant there would be more times…. But what else could she really do? It wasn’t as if Clarke could follow her around every day making sure she didn’t do anything illegal; that was ridiculous and excessive. She’d spoken her mind and the rest was in Sera’s hands. “Just don’t get caught,” she said, attempting to make her words sound reassuring, even if her smile didn’t quite reach her blue eyes.

The blonde let out a sigh; Sera was right; they might as well get comfortable while they waited. Taking a seat against the opposite wall of the redhead, Clarke pulled her knees up to her chest. Her mom was going to kill her for not heading straight home like she promised. But it wasn’t like she could just abandon Sera in here…. And if Clarke left and got caught, they’d no doubt think she did it considering Jaha knew she was an artist as well. But maybe if they thought it was her, they’d let her off easier than if it was Sera?

When the other girl’s voice filled the room, Clarke returned her attention to her, letting out a small breath of amusement through her nose. “Promise,” she said, with a faint smirk of amusement on her lips. Not that Sera wasn’t really pretty… “But if we’re gonna be stuck in here for a bit… how are you doing? I know we haven’t really talked in a while, I’m sorry…” It was so easy to get caught up in her own problems, but sometimes that meant becoming oblivious to everyone else’s.

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Seraphina Walker
 Posted: May 25 2017, 05:47 PM
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S
era couldn't help but appreciate that Clarke cared. It wasn't like she had to. It shouldn't really make that much of a difference to Clarke whether Sera got locked up or not. It wasn't like they were super close friends or anything. But Sera had a feeling that Clarke was one of those people that cared about everyone, regardless of her relationship or feelings towards them. "I'll do my best" she offered, not promising that she wouldn't get caught because she didn't like to make promises that she couldn't keep. But vowing to at least make an attempt to be careful, or at least more careful than she had been thus far. She wasn't the only one that did graffiti. There were actually a whole group that did it. Her and a handful of her friends. Or people she liked to call her friends. She supposed to would find out if they really were her friends when push finally came to shove.

The redhead did feel a little bad that Clarke was currently stuck in a closet with her. It wasn't like Clarke had done anything wrong. And after a long day at the clinic she had probably been anxious to get home. Sera frowned softly at the realization and mentally chastised herself. Clarke should have just walked away, but instead she had done everything she could to keep Sera out of trouble.

The amusement in Clarke's voice, on her face, was a nice thing to see. It was one of the reasons that Sera often covered her emotions with sarcasm. Because in doing so she could usually get people to laugh. And making people smile was a wonderful thing. With a teasing narrow of her eyes, like she didn't actually believe Clarke even though she did of course, Sera replied "Well if you say so. I guess I will take your word for it." Still there was a basis behind the teasing, one that Sera wouldn't admit. She did find Clarke attractive. And there were definitely worse things than being stuck in a closet with the older girl.

With a shrug, Sera's amused smiled slipped from her face. "I'm doing fine" she replied, the words not really sounding all that convincing. "My parents have eased off about the whole engineering thing now that I am working in medical. I guess they decided that a career in medical would be satisfactory" she sighed, toying with the hem of her shirt. She didn't like talking about her parents all that much. She didn't get along with them. They couldn't accept their daughter for who she was and it weighed heavily on Sera. "You don't have to apologize" she smiled "We all have our own things going on." Pulling her eyes back up to Clarke's, she returned the question "What about you? How have you been?"


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Clarke Griffin
 Posted: May 26 2017, 04:43 PM
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The word 'fine' seemed to be the universal code for anything but fine. Her mom would often say she was 'fine' and her mother was a horrible liar. She always looked too serious or averted her gaze when she was trying to lie and that immediately would tip Clarke off. The blonde gave Sera a skeptical look, as if she didn't quite believe her 'fine' statement, although she didn't press it verbally. They weren't close, so it wasn't really Clarke's business to push her for answers unless she waned to give them.

Luckily Seraphina elaborated, allowing Clarke to diverge from the typical 'that's good to hear' automated response that usually followed 'fine' with acquaintances. "Do you like working in medical?" Clarke knew from a young age that she wanted to be just like her mother; she wanted to help people. While her mother had in fact guided her towards that field, it was one Clarke had wanted. She and Sera had spoken one day on a mutual break when the med bay was slow about the other girl's home life. She didn't know all that much about the redhead's parents, just that she wished she could do art but they had other plans for her. Clarke couldn't imagine being forced into a career you didn't want; what if you weren't good at it? What if you didn't like it? It wasn't so easy to change professions on the Ark, not after applying so much of your training to just one.

“Good. Things are good I guess." There was nothing great going on in her life, but things could be worse. Life was pretty routine but there wasn't much Clarke could really complain about. "Mom's going to let me actually work on some procedures soon," the blonde tried to hide the excitement in her smile, she didn't want to seem like she was bragging. "Not like any big surgery or anything, but sutures and wound prep; things like that," she clarified with a shrug.

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 Posted: May 27 2017, 09:30 PM
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larke and Sera had briefly spoken of Sera's parents and her home life at one point or another. The redhead was naive enough to think that she had it all that bad, or that there weren't people out there that had it worse. So what, she had never been coddled as a child. At least her parents had never beat her. They weren't addicted to drugs, or washing away their sorrows with alcohol. They just weren't loving, at least not outwardly. There were worse things out there.

At Clarke's question, Sera nodded and smiled. "I really do actually. I like helping people. It takes my mind of my own problems. Makes me feel useful in something I can actually enjoy doing" she replied. She had never really had any direction before. At least not a useful and practical one. All she knew was that she didn't want to be an engineer. But if she wasn't going to do that, follow after her parents, then what was she going to do? She wasn't even sure how she had stumbled across medical as an option. She had just found herself there one day, watching the happenings, feeling drawn to it. "What made you choose medical?" she asked curiously. Wondering if it was something Clarke had always loved or whether it was something she had gotten into because of her mother. It was common knowledge that Dr. Abby Griffin was the best doctor they had.

"That is really awesome, Clarke!" she exclaimed softly. Keeping voice down, but still excited for the blonde nonetheless. It was great that she was going to get to start working on simple procedures. Sera could tell by the way that Clarke tried to down play it that she was only doing so to be nice. But there was no need for that. Sera had only been in medical for around six months. She was still learning how things operated. Learning about more basic first aid. But Jackson had told her that it wouldn't be long before she was learning to set very simple fractures, stitch simple wounds, and bandage accurately and efficiently. She hoped that was true because the more she could keep her mind and hands busy the better for her.

"Don't down play it for my sake. You should be excited and proud of what you have accomplished" she added, reaching out to give Clarke's knee an excited squeeze with her hand before pulling it back to her own side of the closet. "I can't even imagine what it must be like. To actually save someone's life" she mused softly, quietly. Like she as trying to picture that feeling, that rush. But at the same time she couldn't imagine what it must be like to lose someone. And on the Ark that happened decently often thanks to rationed supplies. You could only do so much to save someone before their chance was up. It was unfortunate but it was the way that things had to be. For the greater good. Or so they were told.


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Clarke Griffin
 Posted: May 30 2017, 07:13 PM
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"Good, I'm glad," she said with a soft grin, despite their current situation. If anyone could empathize, it was Clarke. She liked helping people too; she liked being able to make a difference and to be there for people when they needed her. It made her feel gratified to make a difference in someone's life. "Pretty much the same reasons," Clarke said with a light shrug in answer to the redhead's question. "I mean, I grew up around the med bay, and watching my mom help all of those people.... I don't know, I guess I just decided I wanted to do that too," there hadn't been much else Clarke was aspiring to be. Maybe an artist for a bit, but as much as she loved drawing, it was a rather useless hobby on the Ark. For as long as she could remember, she wanted to be just like her mother. Now she was actually getting the chance.

At Sera's shared excitement, Clarke couldn't help but grin wildly. She was pretty proud of herself and not to mention excited. Many thought that because of who her parents were, Clarke was just handed everything in life. And sure, she knew she had it easier than others sometimes, but that didn't mean the blonde didn't work hard for things. She studied every day and hardly had time for actual socializing thanks to her busy schedule. Of course that left her with few friends outside of Wells, but she knew it would be worth it in the end when she became just as good as her mother at what she did.

When they other girl mentioned saving someone's life, Clarke's eyes drifted to the ceiling as if attempting to paint a picture for herself of what it could be like. "My mom says it's one of the most rewarding feelings, other than having a kid," she said with a small smile, returning her gaze back to Sera. Although Clarke wasn't entirely sure how having a kid would be rewarding. "I feel like the first time you truly save someone's life, that's when you realize all of you're hard work is worth it.... It reminds you why you decided to become a doctor in the first place," or at least that's how Clarke imagined it.

But then, like with everything in life, there was a darker side to it all. Losing a life; it was an inevitability in their field. You couldn't save everyone, that was just statistically impossible. But that didn't mean the impact wasn't any less grim. "I'm just.... I’m nervous about it sometimes, you know?" Clarke looked hesitantly over at Seraphina. It was a fear she hadn't even shared with her mom yet, not wanting her to think she was second-guessing anything or scared. "Having a life in your hands.... What happens if you mess up? What happens if they die, and it's all your fault? How do you even live with that?" It was more rhetorical than anything; she didn't even know why she was asking Sera this... Maybe because she figured the other girl might understand.

Tag: Seraphina Walker - Notes: awwww foreshadowing
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Seraphina Walker
 Posted: Jul 19 2017, 12:20 AM
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era wasn't really all that surprised to hear that Clarke was pursuing medical both because she enjoyed helping people and because of her mother. Clarke was good at what she did, and you generally weren't really that good at something unless you enjoyed doing it. It was why Sera had never taken to engineering. Even though she could probably be good at it, she was smart enough for it, driven enough. She just hated it. And that dislike made it hard for her to focus on actually learning how to do it and being good at it. Much to the irritation of her parents. But at least medical had gotten them to back off a little. It was a better career path than art at least. "Makes total sense. Your mom is like the best there is. I mean, I know watching her inspires even me so I couldn't even imagine growing up watching all of that" she replied with a small, quiet laugh. Her parents had never been inspiring. More so drab and uninteresting. They definitely weren't that great of a spokesperson for engineering careers.

The redhead couldn't help but fake a gag at the mention of having a kid and it being rewarding. "Uhh yeah, I can confidently say I will never know what that is like. No kids for me thanks" she replied with a shake of her head. Having a kid would consist of actually having to be with a man and the thought of that was utterly disgusting to her. A fair amount of people knew, or at least guessed at Sera's sexuality. Though she had never made it an open matter really. Because she didn't want her parents to know. It would just be one more thing they could add to the list of disappointing things about her. "What about you, you want kids?" she asked. Knowing that people their age didn't generally have their future that planned out. So not really expecting an actual answer.

Sera liked how Clarke viewed it. The saving of a life. Like finally getting to do that. To put your skills to that much use. It would show you just how worth it all of it was. Because going through this training, becoming a doctor, it wasn't easy. It was a lot to take in, a lot to remember, and a lot of responsibility. Sera hoped to be even half as good as Dr. Griffin someday. It didn't come quite as naturally to her as some others, but she had been working with Jackson and was improving quickly. She just needed to learn to trust herself more. "You're probably right. Like, being able to save someone would just prove that all of that hard work was worth it" she replied. It would prove that I'm worth it she thought to herself, but kept it to herself. Depressing thoughts of self worth really weren't conducive of friendly conversation.

Clarke's fears were very real though. As doctors they were relied upon to make the hard calls and to make the right calls. But they were human too and they would make mistakes. If that mistake cost someone their life, how did you rationalize that? "I mean, I guess you can't save everyone and part of being a doctor is knowing when to keep fighting and when to let go" she said softly, biting on the inside of her lip anxiously. She didn't like to think about it. But she knew it was a reality for them that would eventually be real. "Sometimes death can be a kindness, I think" she added. There were some people that were lost causes. Some people couldn't be saved. Beating yourself up over not being able to save them wouldn't do anyone any good. "Outside of that, we will make mistakes. It is inevitable. We just have to do our very best and know in the end that sometimes things do just happen" of course she didn't actually know how she would react in that situation. Would she feel guilty? Would she be able to live with that guilt?


Clarke Griffin
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Clarke Griffin
 Posted: Jul 20 2017, 10:12 PM
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"She is," Clarke agreed about her mother, unable to help the smile that spread across her lips as it stretched into a grin. Even if the praise was for her mom, Clarke couldn't help the pride that welled up within her. She looked up to her mother as well, and not just her medical skills. Yes, she wanted to be an amazing doctor like Abby one day, but Clarke also admired her mother's spirit. She was determined and passionate about everything he believed in. When her mother wanted something, she wouldn't back down until she got it. Clarke admired that about her. Even her father lost battles against her mom when they disagreed on something.

A soft laugh of amusement slipped out under her breath at Sera's obvious distaste for children. "Never?" she questioned, more out of curiosity than attempting to refute her wishes. "How come?" Clarke understood that not everyone wanted children, especially at their age, but she couldn't help but be curious. When the question was turned to her, the blonde gave a shrug. "I'm not sure." She hadn't really put too much thought into it. Obviously she wasn't having a baby any time soon considering the implant, but when the time came....? "Maybe? I haven't really thought about it much..." Clarke knew they encouraged people to have a child to keep the population growing, but it wasn't as if it was a requirement, considering the strict population control laws. "Maybe if I meet the right person someday, fall in love... I don't know," she gave a another shrug. While most girls her age fawned over boys in their class and focused on dating, Clarke wasn't really that interested. She was far more focused on her medical internship and her training. There hadn't really been anyone who caught her eye anyway, so trying to imagine her entire future with a spouse and a child was a bit difficult. All she could picture was herself working in medical.

"I am right," she corrected with a playful smile. Although it was just a tease, Clarke did believe her words were true, that her mother's words were true. What other purpose did the doctors have other than to make a difference in people's lives? To fix them? To save them? Accomplishing that was, in a way, completing your job. There weren't many things more rewarding than accomplishing everything you've worked hard to achieve.

The blonde nodded vaguely at Sera's comment about not being able to save everyone. It was the truth, and she agreed, but saying that out loud left a bad taste on her tongue. Clarke wanted to believe she would never make a mistake, never slip up; that she'd be able to save all of her patients, but she was smarter than that; she knew that was impossible. Clarke knew her career would be filled with countless difficult decisions and that not all of them would have such clear answers. She'd watched her mother her entire life after all, and saw how those decisions affected her. She knew what she was signing up for. Clarke just wasn't looking forward to the point where she was forced to make such decisions.

Death as a kindness. "Yea..." she breathed quietly in agreement. It was an odd conversation between two sixteen year olds, but considering their field of study, not entirely unexpected. "It's true. I just hope it feels like a kindness when the time comes." Clarke didn't look forward to taking any lives, whether the patient desired it or not. But she knew that was part of the job and she needed to get used to it now. Clarke nodded along with Sera's other words. While she was right, thinking about making mistakes and the horrific consequences that could potentially follow had her stomach in knots. She didn't want to think about it any more.

Suddenly standing, Clarke wiped some of the dust off of her pants. "Hey, I'm going to check if they're still there," she said, desperate to change the subject. Walking over to the door, the blonde listened for a moment. Silence. Pushing it open carefully, she peered around the corner into the empty hallway. "I think they're gone...." she whispered to the redhead behind her.

Tag: Seraphina Walker - Notes: sorry that got long
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